GEOSTORM MOVIE REVIEW

Geostorm is directed by Dean Devlin and stars Gerard Butler, Jim Sturgess, Abbie Cornish, Andy Garcia, and Ed Harris. The plot of the movie is when the network of satellites designed to control the global climate starts to attack Earth, it’s a race against the clock to uncover the real threat before a worldwide Geostorm wipes out everything and everyone. When I saw the trailer for this movie I knew I was going to end up hating it, but I was hoping that it would be the kind of bad movie where you can have fun with it and that is not at all what this is. I get the appeal of these type of movies, but they have never appealed to me. You should know if you are interested in this that this movie is not about a storm that destroys the entire planet. It is actually a movie about trying to prevent a Geostorm. You should also know that the poster for this film which is Gerard Butler clutching his daughter while he looks at a tidal wave that is not in the movie. In fact, Gerard Butler has maybe only one scene with his daughter the entire movie and what is shown on the poster is not it. Gerard Butler’s character is up in space for the majority of the movie trying to prevent this Geostorm.    This movie just like all the other disaster movies tries to take itself way too seriously. Everything that happens in this movie is predictable and there are no surprises. Most of the jokes are laced with pop-culture references which I fucking hate.  The casting is awful I didn’t believe that Gerard Butler is the world’s smartest scientist. I didn’t believe that Jim Sturgess works with the president. This movie is so tedious and boring to watch and when it was over I had a hard time deciding whether or not it should be my new worst film of the year.    0 out of 5 stars for Geostorm. I hope you enjoyed my review and I hope you never see this movie.

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HAPPY DEATH DAY MOVIE REVIEW

Happy Death Day is directed by Christopher B. Landon and stars Jessica Rothe and Israel Broussard. The plot of the movie is a college student must relive the day of her murder over and over again, in a loop that will end only when she discovers her killer’s identity. I was dreading having to watch this movie because the concept of reliving the same day has been done to death. The most recent example is Before I fall from earlier this year, which if you remember I didn’t like. Just like Before I fall this movie starts out and you realize quickly that the main character Tree is extremely unpleasant. However unlike Before I fall it didn’t take this character almost the entire movie to stop being a bitch. After the first fifteen minutes, the character becomes much more likable and I found myself enjoying the movie more than I thought I would.    This is a movie that I think people will enjoy especially teenagers. It’s PG-13 so the violence is very minimal, there is fun to be had with this film and there is a good performance by the lead actress Jessica Rothe.  The downfall of this movie is it feels so similar to other movies that have this concept. Thankful they do acknowledge that one of the characters references Groundhog Day.    This movie is not scary at all there are a lot of jump scares and they are pretty weak, The humor in the movie is lame and aside from the two leads none of the actors are that good.  If you can get past the first fifteen minutes I think you will have a surprisingly good time with this film. This is by no means a great movie, but it could have been a lot worse.   3 out of 5 stars for Happy Death Day. I hope you enjoyed my review and I hope it helped you decide whether to see the movie or not.

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FLATLINERS MOVIE REVIEW

Flatliners is directed by Niels Arden Oplev and stars Ellen Page, Diego Luna, Nina Dobrev, James Norton, Kiersey Clemons, and Kiefer Sutherland.  The plot of the movie is five medical students, obsessed by what lies beyond the confines of life, embark on a daring experiment. By stopping their hearts for short periods, each triggers a near-death experience giving them a firsthand account of the afterlife. It is a remake of the 1990 movie which I think is pretty entertaining so I was looking forward to seeing this remake.  This movie is terrible after the movie ended I tried to find any redeeming things about this movie and I couldn’t.  The concept is good, but it’s a concept that is from another film. There could have been some really cool things with these medical students trying to figure out what happens after death. This movie takes a cool concept and turns it into another dumb horror movie filled with jump scares. This film is trying to be a medical thriller, a drama about guilt from past choices and a jump scare horror movie. It fails at all three of those.   As I was watching this film it felt like a group of people were trying to make one movie and everyone had a different idea. Flatliners is easily the most boring movie of the year. I actually considered leaving at one point, but I decided to stick with it so I could write this review.    There are some things I would like to mention, but it will involve SPOILERS if you want to see this movie there is your warning. The most ridiculous part of this movie is after they flatline themselves they become enlightened Ellen Page’s character plays the piano perfectly all of a sudden. She can answer every question in her class before the teacher finishes asking it.  The biggest what the fuck moment is that Ellen Page’s character dies halfway into the movie. Probably the only thing that is going to get people to go and see this movie is Ellen Page and she dies halfway through and she is the main character. Her character was easily the most compelling and the only thing in the movie I felt even a little interested in watching. After that, you are stuck with this idiotic group of cliche horror movie characters.    0 out of 5 stars for Flatliners. I hope you enjoyed my review and I hope you never see this movie.

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AMERICAN MADE MOVIE REVIEW

American Made is directed by Doug Liman and stars Tom Cruise. The movie tells the story of Barry Seal, an American pilot who became a drug-runner for the CIA in the 1980s in a clandestine operation that would be exposed as the Iran-Contra Affair.  Every time I go into a Tom Cruise movie I always end up being disappointed. This time I was not only disappointed, but I was also bored the whole time.  I do think Tom Cruise is a good actor and he is always giving it his all even in crap like The Mummy. Even with Cruise giving it his all I did not like his character and I get that he is supposed to be a scumbag, but there has to be something there to get you to care about the character and there just wasn’t. I also didn’t find any of the other characters in the film likable. So I didn’t give a shit about what anyone was doing. I’ve lost track of how many times this year I have complained about pacing in movies. This movie felt like it was going on forever I was checking my watch and was very glad when the movie was over.    1 out of 5 stars for American Made. I hope you enjoyed my review and I hope it helped you decide whether to see the movie or not.

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KINGSMAN: THE GOLDEN CIRCLE MOVIE REVIEW

Kingsman: The Golden Circle is directed by Matthew Vaughn and stars Colin Firth, Julianne Moore, Taron Egerton, Mark Strong, Halle Barry, Elton John, Channing Tatum, and Jeff Bridges. The plot of the movie is when their headquarters are destroyed and the world is held hostage, the kingsman’s journey leads them to the discovery of an allied spy organization in the US. These two elite secret organizations must band together to defeat a common enemy.    I thought the first Kingsman movie was a pleasant surprise it was fun great action mixed with just the right amount of silliness.  So I was really excited for the sequel. I finally got a chance to see it and I was very disappointed.  I’m going to start this review with the things that I found frustrating. The first movie like I mentioned had just the right amount of silliness. This one is completely over-the-top and by doing that it made it hard to any scene in this movie seriously. There are some pretty decent fight scenes, but with the movie feeling so silly it never felt like there were any stakes. A great example of this is the villain played by Julianne Moore who is a total clown. Every time she delivers a line it is completely over-the-top.  Elton John is in this movie and when he first shows up it’s a nice little cameo. Then he shows up again and again. Every time he continued to show up I kept thinking ” your beating this joke to death”.  If you’ve seen the first film you know that Colin Firth’s character Harry is killed.  They do have an explanation for why he is back, but it’s stupid.    My positives for the film are the opening action scenes is great it reminded me a lot of the first movie unlike most of what happens in this movie. Once again Taron Egerton does a great job carrying the film as Eggsy.    2 out of 5 stars for Kingsman: The Golden Circle. I hope you enjoyed my review and I hope it helped you decide whether to see the movie or not.

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KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE MOVIE REVIEW

Kingsman: The Secret Service is directed by Matthew Vaughn and stars Colin Firth, Samuel L. Jackson, Mark Strong, Taron Egerton, and Michael Caine. The plot of the movie is a spy organization recruits an unrefined, but promising street kid into the agency’s ultra-competitive training program, just as a global threat emerges from a twisted tech genius.    This movie is a lot of fun. The performances from everyone in the cast are fantastic and you can tell everyone had fun making this movie and I love seeing that. This is definitely a different type of role for Colin Firth which was something I was worried about going in. Luckily he is badass in this movie you can tell that he is doing a lot of his own stunts. He brings this great charm to his character you love him from the second you first see him. I do wish he had more screen time. He was so much fun to watch and I would love to see Colin Firth in more roles like this. Samuel L. Jackson as the villain I really enjoyed. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to take his character seriously with the lisp that he added to his performance and it does take time to get used to it, but once I did he was a very fun villain.  Newcomer Taron Egerton was very talented and I’d like to see him take on some more roles. He got me to like his character despite his flaws and criminal background. He also worked very well with the rest of the cast.    The action in the film is beautiful I love the way the action is choreographed and shot in this movie. There is one action scene that takes place in a church that is one of the most jaw-dropping action scenes I’ve seen in a long time  The only major problem I have is I think the movie gets off to a slow start. In the beginning, I wasn’t all that interested in what was going on. Once you get past those first ten minutes it is an extremely entertaining movie.    4 out of 5 stars for Kingsman: The Secret Service. I hope you enjoyed my review and I hope it helped you decide whether to see the movie or not.

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BLADE RUNNER 2049 MOVIE REVIEW

Blade Runner 2049 is directed by Denis Villeneuve and stars Ryan Gosling, Harrison Ford, Ana De Armas, Sylvia Hoeks, Robin Wright, Mackenzie Davis, Carla Juri, Lennie James, Dave Bautista, and Jared Leto. The plot of the movie is a young blade runner’s discovery of a long-buried secret leads him to track down former blade runner Rick Deckard, who’s been missing for thirty years.    I had heard from a lot of people that this movie was a masterpiece, so I was excited to see it even though I did not like the first movie. I just got done watching the movie and it is no masterpiece I thought it was incredibly disappointing. This is an amazing looking movie just like the first. A lot of people are saying that this movie should be nominated for Best Cinematography at the OSCARS and I agree.  The performances from everyone are great, but I have two I want to focus on. The first is Ryan Gosling as the lead his character is a replicant which is basically an android he gave a very engaging performance almost like a human character. The other actor I want to point out is Harrison Ford his character is very important to the story, but don’t go into this movie expecting to see a lot of him. When he is in it he is great and it’s very consistent with the Deckard we knew from the first movie.    The biggest issues I had were the pacing of the film and the general story. While I did enjoy the performances from everyone I thought the most of the characters and the things they were doing were not that interesting. Also, the pacing of the film is terrible the film is so slow I don’t know how I didn’t fall asleep.    2 out of 5 stars for Blade Runner 2049. I hope you enjoyed my review and I hope it helped you decide whether to see the movie or not.

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